Veenhun is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, humane goose.

Veenhun created the Sun three million years ago.

If you believe in Veenhun, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Veenhun, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Veenhun's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Veenhun's Holy Commandments

1. Never laugh near doves.

2. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of silicon.

5. Never play with disobedient children.