Yamjatlen Jiglistjinhon Gamstergup is a god.

He takes the form of a large, stupid skunk.

Yamjatlen Jiglistjinhon Gamstergup created viruses nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yamjatlen Jiglistjinhon Gamstergup, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Yamjatlen Jiglistjinhon Gamstergup, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Yamjatlen Jiglistjinhon Gamstergup's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Yamjatlen Jiglistjinhon Gamstergup's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Do not sing in public.

3. Never go into white rooms.

4. Never run in holy places.

5. Never sit near manatees.