Milmetbap is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, kind mongoose.

Milmetbap created the universe four billion years ago.

If you believe in Milmetbap, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Milmetbap, she will turn you into a slug.

Milmetbap's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Milmetbap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Never wear gray jumpers.

3. Do not eat figs.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.