Nakbanduss is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, cheerful newt.

Nakbanduss created the universe five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nakbanduss, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Nakbanduss, he will turn you into a tree.

Nakbanduss' most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Nakbanduss' Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Never talk about manatees.

3. Do not take Nakbanduss' name in vain.

4. Always make sure there are no monkeys in a room before entering it.

5. Do not hurt sharks.