Fotyarlnurl is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, fast pig.

Fotyarlnurl created a strange quark eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Fotyarlnurl, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Fotyarlnurl, she will send minions to preach to you.

Fotyarlnurl's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Fotyarlnurl's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Never look at comets.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.