Carteenzod is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, tranquil donkey.

Carteenzod created energy eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Carteenzod, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Carteenzod, it will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Carteenzod's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Carteenzod's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick great tits.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Retreat if eight shrews approach from the east.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate porpoises.