Bugjontail is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, temperamental hippopotamus.

Bugjontail created a bottom quark four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bugjontail, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Bugjontail, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Bugjontail's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Bugjontail's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Run away if seven snakes approach from the south.

4. Never run in the presence of dolphins.

5. Never eat green fruit.