Stafkabcuss is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, amazing whale.

Stafkabcuss created Mount Everest eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Stafkabcuss, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Stafkabcuss, he will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Stafkabcuss' most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Stafkabcuss' Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate dolphins.

4. Never eat beans.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.