Tunhugnut is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, proud guinea pig.

Tunhugnut created the world four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tunhugnut, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Tunhugnut, she will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Tunhugnut's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Tunhugnut's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate turtles.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Never paint your back violet.