Kapnulton is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, witty gnu.

Kapnulton created Mount Everest five billion years ago.

If you believe in Kapnulton, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Kapnulton, she will send minions to preach to you.

Kapnulton's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Kapnulton's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from brown tortoises for they are unholy.

2. Do not sit in public.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.