Gamarfkab Wodcapkim is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, temperamental tortoise.

Gamarfkab Wodcapkim created the universe three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gamarfkab Wodcapkim, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Gamarfkab Wodcapkim, he will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Gamarfkab Wodcapkim's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Gamarfkab Wodcapkim's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Do not dye your hair mauve.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Always wear yellow.