Zakwabjat is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, able centipede.

Zakwabjat created the Sombrero Galaxy five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zakwabjat, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Zakwabjat, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Zakwabjat's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Zakwabjat's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if five sheep approach from the east.

2. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

3. Never wear turquoise shirts.

4. Do not kill voles.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.