Latquaglarp is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, almighty octopus.

Latquaglarp created humankind three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Latquaglarp, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Latquaglarp, it will not care.

Latquaglarp's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Latquaglarp's Holy Commandments

1. Latquaglarp must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Do not dye your hair indigo.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Latquaglarp.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. You must pray to Latquaglarp six times a day.