Monflamham is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, moody dingo.

Monflamham created energy five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Monflamham, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Monflamham, she will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Monflamham's most sacred site is Polagam in India.

Monflamham's Holy Commandments

1. Do not jump in public.

2. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.

3. Always make sure there are no whales in a room before entering it.

4. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

5. Run away from white frogs, for they are unholy.