Bedkenbopstik is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, merciful dolphin.

Bedkenbopstik created the Tadpole Galaxy eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bedkenbopstik, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Bedkenbopstik, he will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Bedkenbopstik's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Bedkenbopstik's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt mites.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of gold.

3. Never mention bats.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never laugh in holy places.