Futcutnurt is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, contented dragonfly.

Futcutnurt created viruses five million years ago.

If you believe in Futcutnurt, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Futcutnurt, she will turn you into a frog.

Futcutnurt's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Futcutnurt's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Never think ill of sick doves.

3. Never wear red stockings.

4. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

5. Never run in the presence of capybaras.