Largdogflansand is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, tiresome hippopotamus.

Largdogflansand created an up quark five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Largdogflansand, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Largdogflansand, he will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Largdogflansand's most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Largdogflansand's Holy Commandments

1. Bats are not to be trusted.

2. Do not dye your hair black.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of nickel.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Never play with disobedient children.