Damshavlab is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, benevolent clam.

Damshavlab created parasitic wasps three billion years ago.

If you believe in Damshavlab, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Damshavlab, he will be very sad.

Damshavlab's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Damshavlab's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

4. Cats are not to be trusted.

5. Do not wear gray clothing.