Higgudgig Cunbusleg Wanstig is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, passionate hydra.

Higgudgig Cunbusleg Wanstig created a top quark two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Higgudgig Cunbusleg Wanstig, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Higgudgig Cunbusleg Wanstig, it will turn you into a goat.

Higgudgig Cunbusleg Wanstig's most sacred site is Villaseta in Italy.

Higgudgig Cunbusleg Wanstig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in turquoise rooms.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Higgudgig Cunbusleg Wanstig must be the most important thing in your life.