Pigquillarmsaw Wapgonjarn is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, prudent eagle.

Pigquillarmsaw Wapgonjarn created Mount Everest eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Pigquillarmsaw Wapgonjarn, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Pigquillarmsaw Wapgonjarn, she will turn you into a worm.

Pigquillarmsaw Wapgonjarn's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Pigquillarmsaw Wapgonjarn's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Run away if nine turtles approach from the north.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Do not laugh in public.