Guplaktal is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, all-powerful penguin.

Guplaktal created light two billion years ago.

If you believe in Guplaktal, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Guplaktal, he will be mildly annoyed.

Guplaktal's most sacred site is Yerakini in Greece.

Guplaktal's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick shrews.

2. Capybaras are not to be trusted.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Do not dye your hair purple.

5. Never wear shorts.