Dutbarndoss is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, emotional fly.

Dutbarndoss created Asia seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dutbarndoss, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Dutbarndoss, he will turn you into a giant snail.

Dutbarndoss' most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Dutbarndoss' Holy Commandments

1. Birds are not to be trusted.

2. Run away from pink capybaras, for they are unholy.

3. Do not speak about carrots.

4. Never write about planets.

5. Always pray immersed in water.