Hamzanwan is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, blissful eagle.

Hamzanwan created the world seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hamzanwan, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Hamzanwan, she will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Hamzanwan's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Hamzanwan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair indigo.

2. Never think about stars.

3. Run away if four badgers approach from the south.

4. Always treat mites with great respect.

5. Erect a large platinum sculpture of Hamzanwan on top of all buildings.