Teenjopmipsab is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, compassionate rhinoceros.

Teenjopmipsab created the planet Earth four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Teenjopmipsab, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Teenjopmipsab, it will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Teenjopmipsab's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Teenjopmipsab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Do not trade with those who eat bananas.

3. Do not wear carbon on your body.

4. Always help rats in need.

5. Never sing near horses.