Jadkamten is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, wise hydra.

Jadkamten created snails five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jadkamten, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Jadkamten, he will strike you with lightening.

Jadkamten's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Jadkamten's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Jadkamten.

3. Always make sure there are no pigs in a building before entering it.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Do not wear tin on your body.