Gil is a god.

It takes the form of a large, conceited zebra.

Gil created snails three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gil, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Gil, it will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Gil's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Gil's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear iron on your body.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Never bounce near birds.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.