Rakgofcut is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, confident yak.

Rakgofcut created a charm quark eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Rakgofcut, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Rakgofcut, he will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Rakgofcut's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Rakgofcut's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry bats.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Put Rakgofcut first in all things.

4. Hide from pink mice for they are unholy.

5. Do not listen to music.