Flapbudten is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, temperamental crab.

Flapbudten created the cosmos five billion years ago.

If you believe in Flapbudten, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Flapbudten, he will have a low opinion of you.

Flapbudten's most sacred site is Yerakini in Greece.

Flapbudten's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Do not dye your hair red.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Do not make images of living things.