Cartipcab is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, idiotic crocodile.

Cartipcab created the Black Eye Galaxy two million years ago.

If you believe in Cartipcab, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Cartipcab, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Cartipcab's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Cartipcab's Holy Commandments

1. Cartipcab loves otters, so they must be respected.

2. Never hurt porpoises.

3. Do not wear zinc on your body.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.