Cudjencim is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, humane eagle.

Cudjencim created tapeworms five million years ago.

If you believe in Cudjencim, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Cudjencim, she will turn you into a puffin.

Cudjencim's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Cudjencim's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear kilts.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Erect a large aluminium sculpture of Cudjencim on top of all buildings.

4. Do not dye your hair fawn.

5. Do not drink alcohol.