Flywiklad is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, narcissistic spider.

Flywiklad created the cosmos eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flywiklad, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Flywiklad, it will ignore you and hope you go away.

Flywiklad's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Flywiklad's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Never feed spinach to manatees while wearing magenta skirts.

3. Feed all hungry aardvarks.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Flywiklad.

5. Flywiklad loves shrews, so they must be respected.