Fetmobcab is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, humorless raccoon.

Fetmobcab created water seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Fetmobcab, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Fetmobcab, he will curse you with boils.

Fetmobcab's most sacred site is Demsin in Germany.

Fetmobcab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of iron.

2. Hide if eight nematodes approach from the north.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Fetmobcab must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Erect six silver sculptures of Fetmobcab on top of important buildings.