Bogpindum is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, self-assured guinea pig.

Bogpindum created a charm quark three million years ago.

If you believe in Bogpindum, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Bogpindum, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Bogpindum's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Bogpindum's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Erect a large carbon sculpture of Bogpindum on top of all buildings.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Run away if nine turtles approach from the west.