Kadsantam Tanvanpin is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, tiresome swallow.

Kadsantam Tanvanpin created water nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Kadsantam Tanvanpin, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Kadsantam Tanvanpin, she will laugh at you.

Kadsantam Tanvanpin's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Kadsantam Tanvanpin's Holy Commandments

1. Never skip in the presence of voles.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Never sit near turtles.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Do not eat melons.