Nutcanmab is a god.
He takes the form of a rotund, all-knowing
dryad.
Nutcanmab created the planet Jupiter two thousand years ago.
If you believe in
Nutcanmab, he will give you lots of grapes.
If you do not believe in
Nutcanmab, he will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.
Nutcanmab's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.
Nutcanmab's Holy Commandments1. Nutcanmab loves grasshopers, so they must be respected.
2. Pray towards the east.
3. Never skip near whales.
4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.
5. Always pray immersed in water.