Nutcanmab is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, all-knowing dryad.

Nutcanmab created the planet Jupiter two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nutcanmab, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Nutcanmab, he will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Nutcanmab's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Nutcanmab's Holy Commandments

1. Nutcanmab loves grasshopers, so they must be respected.

2. Pray towards the east.

3. Never skip near whales.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Always pray immersed in water.