Gebontdoss is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, bad-tempered hippopotamus.

Gebontdoss created the Cigar Galaxy seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gebontdoss, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Gebontdoss, she will turn you into a goat.

Gebontdoss' most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Gebontdoss' Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about snakes.

2. Gebontdoss loves manatees, so they must be honoured.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

5. Never wear yellow kilts.