Jiggesstaf is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, unsympathetic walrus.

Jiggesstaf created time and space five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jiggesstaf, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Jiggesstaf, it will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Jiggesstaf's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Jiggesstaf's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Always help nematodes.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate monkeys.