Quafkabjin Bestcepstik is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, clever wombat.

Quafkabjin Bestcepstik created the planet Jupiter three million years ago.

If you believe in Quafkabjin Bestcepstik, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Quafkabjin Bestcepstik, he will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Quafkabjin Bestcepstik's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Quafkabjin Bestcepstik's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Quafkabjin Bestcepstik must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Never sing in holy places.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Never go into mauve rooms.