Rakfagbun is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, compassionate centipede.

Rakfagbun created water five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Rakfagbun, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Rakfagbun, he will turn you into a rat.

Rakfagbun's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Rakfagbun's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about comets.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Rakfagbun.

4. Rakfagbun loves monkeys, so they must be respected.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.