Yarlfatduss is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, tranquil armadillo.

Yarlfatduss created the Sun five million years ago.

If you believe in Yarlfatduss, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Yarlfatduss, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Yarlfatduss' most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Yarlfatduss' Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if four mites approach from the west.

2. Never feed bananas to bats while wearing black skirts.

3. Run away from yellow moths, for they are unholy.

4. Put Yarlfatduss first in all things.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Yarlfatduss.