Bitdabjen is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, tiresome tapir.

Bitdabjen created oxygen nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bitdabjen, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Bitdabjen, he will denounce you as a heretic.

Bitdabjen's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Bitdabjen's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about stars.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. You must never eat pineapples.

4. Do not dye your hair pink.

5. Always look after injured mites.