Dagtaljabgemafbumbut Queegkartal is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, overgenerous armadillo.

Dagtaljabgemafbumbut Queegkartal created a charm quark five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dagtaljabgemafbumbut Queegkartal, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Dagtaljabgemafbumbut Queegkartal, he will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Dagtaljabgemafbumbut Queegkartal's most sacred site is Fangchuan in China.

Dagtaljabgemafbumbut Queegkartal's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear green boots.

2. Do not hurt aardvarks.

3. Erect five zinc sculptures of Dagtaljabgemafbumbut Queegkartal on top of important buildings.

4. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

5. Never talk about tapirs.