Cidmutlarg is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, intelligent tapir.

Cidmutlarg created life seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cidmutlarg, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Cidmutlarg, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Cidmutlarg's most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Cidmutlarg's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured dogs.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of gold.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. You must pray to Cidmutlarg four times a day.