Fidtagfunnart is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, stupid dolphin.

Fidtagfunnart created the cosmos seven million years ago.

If you believe in Fidtagfunnart, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Fidtagfunnart, he will destroy your home solar system.

Fidtagfunnart's most sacred site is Manna in Greece.

Fidtagfunnart's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about capybaras.

2. Never sing near porpoises.

3. Erect a large carbon sculpture of Fidtagfunnart on top of all buildings.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Never write about asteroids.