Bitbamgar is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, omnipotent capybara.

Bitbamgar created a down quark four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bitbamgar, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Bitbamgar, he will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Bitbamgar's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Bitbamgar's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from orange moths for they are unholy.

2. Do not eat apples.

3. Never look at stars.

4. Always treat goats with great respect.

5. Never wear fawn stockings.