Kemquillaf is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, moody jellyfish.

Kemquillaf created Africa three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kemquillaf, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Kemquillaf, it will turn you into a sheep.

Kemquillaf's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Kemquillaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about stars.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Run away from yellow grasshopers, for they are unholy.

5. Never eat green fruit.