Pigmegstafkarjinfenpad Minhinkabvad is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, humorless monkey.

Pigmegstafkarjinfenpad Minhinkabvad created a bottom quark two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Pigmegstafkarjinfenpad Minhinkabvad, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Pigmegstafkarjinfenpad Minhinkabvad, he will not care at all.

Pigmegstafkarjinfenpad Minhinkabvad's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Pigmegstafkarjinfenpad Minhinkabvad's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Never look at black holes.

4. Erect three copper sculptures of Pigmegstafkarjinfenpad Minhinkabvad on top of important buildings.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.