Tarcedjam is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, bad-tempered scorpion.

Tarcedjam created the planet Saturn three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tarcedjam, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Tarcedjam, he will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Tarcedjam's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Tarcedjam's Holy Commandments

1. Tarcedjam loves manatees, so they must be honoured.

2. Do not trade with those who eat onions.

3. Never talk about amino acids.

4. Never paint your back mauve.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.