Ciplatwan is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, merciless jackal.

Ciplatwan created the cosmos six billion years ago.

If you believe in Ciplatwan, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Ciplatwan, he will strike you with lightening.

Ciplatwan's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Ciplatwan's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Ciplatwan must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Run away if eight birds approach from the east.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Hide if six dogs approach from the west.