Xembessatsis is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, egotistical weasel.

Xembessatsis created the Small Magellanic Cloud five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Xembessatsis, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Xembessatsis, she will remove you from existence.

Xembessatsis' most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Xembessatsis' Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no aardvarks in a building before entering it.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. You must pray to Xembessatsis four times a day.

5. Do not speak about grapes.